You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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