Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He better not be in your backpack
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
