If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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