If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
