alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
