Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
