similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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