I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
