They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
