so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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