Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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