Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
