you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
