I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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