I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
