I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
