We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
