Christians are straight up FREAKS
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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