Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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