He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
