so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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