Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
