i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
