i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
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