either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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