It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize