$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
