I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
