I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
