We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
