Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Well I just put wine in my tea
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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