I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you will always have a special place in my vag
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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