dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
