so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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