Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
