just survived the first fart of the relationship.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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