yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Barsexuality is the new black.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
