Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize