She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
