Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
