I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
