2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I think my vagina is haunted
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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