I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
