Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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