does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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