her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
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I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
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I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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