He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize