It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
