Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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