So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
