Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
