So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
