You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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