so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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