nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
