We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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