hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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