Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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