I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
