i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
